Dealing with Death of a Lost loved one.

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Not too many times in our human existence do we wake up one morning and find out that someone we cherished and loved so dearly is suddenly, gone. Granted death is a part of life and all our days are numbered, but I’m talking about unexpected death… I’ve lost a few close friends, a boyfriend who was my best friend, a family member who was like a father and mentor to me. None of them were sick or in the hospital for that matter, I was completely unaware I would wake up one morning only to find out they were already dead. I would weep for hours, days, sometimes months just by the thought of not having them around. I wished I knew they were sick or at least their days were numbered so I could prepare myself to say goodbye, If only I could tell them how I felt. I wanted to let them know how blessed and grateful I was to have them as a part of my life. I would countlessly wish I could hug them one last time and watch them pass in peace then maybe, I would feel at peace too. I always envied those people who knew their loved ones were going to pass or their days were numbered at least they had the chance to hold them and tell them how much they loved them and how they meant the world to them. Sadly, I never had that chance with the loved ones I lost. If someone was to ask me what it felt like? I would say, you literally feel your heart break into pieces, you cry until there are no more tears left and as you’re weeping you feel a part of you dies with them and life will never be the same. It took me a long time to smile again when I lost my uncle Noel Silverio. I worked with him and wanted to be a chef just like him he, was my pride and joy he always knew how to make me laugh whenever I was down, he was always the life of the party! Not once did I ever see him angry or upset, but always happy and full of life. His energy was so contagious that whenever we were together we would laugh our hearts out. Christmas and new years were never the same without him around. I remember how I would cry at the thought of him not being around to see me get married someday. He meant the world to me and I lost him too soon… I always thought he would be there. If only I could turn back time and relive the moments we shared. To my dear uncle Noel, I wish heaven had a phone so I could hear your voice again, I thought of you today but that’s nothing new, I thought of you yesterday and the days before too. I think of you in silence, I often speak your name but all I have are these memories and a photo in a frame. You’re memory is a keepsake from which i’ll never part. God has you in his arms and I have you in my heart. ❤

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Dealing with a loss is never easy especially when they are still at the peak of their youth. When I was young I was told that when you get old you eventually die. However, nobody prepared me to lose someone I thought I would outlive. 😔 Not a day goes by that I don’t think of the people I have loved and lost in this life. BUT time heals everything we grow stronger and learn to live without them and that fond memory becomes a treasure that you keep in your heart forever. We will never know why the people we love are taken from us too soon but what we can do is learn to appreciate the people we still have in our lives because one day they will pass too. The worse regret you can live with is holding onto a grudge towards the people you once care about only to lose them at the blink of an eye. You have to count on living every single day in a way you believe will make you feel good about your life – so that if it were over tomorrow, you’d be content with yourself and sometimes allowing yourself to cry could be the scariest thing you’ll ever have to do and the bravest. It takes a lot of courage to face the facts, to stare loss in the face, to bare your heart, and let it bleed. But it is the only way to cleanse your wounds and prepare them for healing. God will take care of the rest. I attached a video about what I have learned throughout life. I hope you take the time to watch it and reflect on your own life so you may learn to live a life that you are proud of.

This write up was composed in memory of a dear friend of mine who took her life this morning. To my dearest Helena, I hate to see you leave us so soon my heart was bleeding when I read the news this afternoon 😢 I get flashbacks of the times that we spent in Singapore and Hong Kong. I remember our deep conversations and having you fall asleep next to me when you were down and needed someone to talk to. You were always full of life and it was such a joy having you around. I’m sure a lot of people are brokenhearted and devastated knowing they will never get to see your beautiful face again. But I pray that you are in a better place and that someday we will meet again and we will laugh like we use to. I hope you are in peace now in the arms of our loving father. Please guide us through this journey of life and watch over us my sweet angel, may you Rest in Peace my fellow Pisces princess. You will be missed forever. ❤❤❤

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may we all learn to hold on to the LOVE and not the LOSS

💋